Fear is the easy part
* Items on this blog might be triggering, frightening, or just insulting* My name's Krista. Life's a bitch and then you die, right?
Step into my mind, my dear.
I hate myself. I’m absolutely disgusting. I’m repulsive. I feel as if my presence is just putrid. I’m just a nuisance, nothing but a burden on everyone else’s life. I want to stand in front of my mirror and tear off my flesh until i’m just a pile of blood and scraps on the floor. I want to take my fingernails and gouge out my own eyes Oedipus style so I no longer have to look at how pathetic I am. It’s like I don’t have any real friends. Everyone single soul is working against me. They all want to see me fail. For some reason I even believe my best friend has been getting easily annoyed with me lately. I feel like everyone talks about me behind my back. Every passing smile is just a sinister sneer in disguise.The most awful feeling in the world is waking up and being let down that you didn’t die last night. Ever since I was little I believed I was going to die young. I’m not going to live past thirty. I used to have nightmares about being attacked and slashed to bits, but I could never see the killer. I now realize that those dreams were just foreshadowing. I’m the one digging into my skin with blades. I’m destroying my self physically and mentally. I barely feel anything anymore, I’m a wonderful actress though. No one knows exactly how excruciating it is just to smile. I need to feel something, anything. The only way I can make sure that I’m truly still alive is to watch the crimson draining from my fresh wounds. I can’t help but hope my entire world is a phantasm and I will soon wake up in a dark room covered in a cold sweat.
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Anonymous: "what are you top 5 favorite movies?"
Donnie Darko
Nightmare on Elm Street
Girl, Interrupted
How to Marry a Millionaire
The Brothers Grimm
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Anonymous: "Who and when was your first kiss?"
My first kiss was a boy named Darin. It was during the summer of 4rd and 5th grade. I was at his house late one night (he lives right down the street) and there was a full moon. It was also the night of my 10th birthday. He told me that he didn’t have a present for me but instead He asked me to be his girlfriend and of course I said yes. He was walking me to the corner where our streets meet when his little sister piped up and said,”you know, your relationship won’t be official unless you kiss her!” Neither of us had ever kissed anyone before and it was rather dark. It was awkward and the old lady who’s lawn we were standing on turned on her porch light and yelled at us. I then walked home alone with the silliest smile on my face and bright red cheeks. That was also the night that I fell in love with him.
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