April 2012

March 2012
There was parts of it that did give me chills. The concept was decent and original. There was also parts that made me giggle. Like when they were doing the whole seance thing and the old lady had the gas mask on, I couldn’t stop laughing. She sounded and looked ridiculous. It was also a bit predictable. However, all in all it was a good movie.
I hate myself. I’m absolutely disgusting. I’m repulsive. I feel as if my presence is just putrid. I’m just a nuisance, nothing but a burden on everyone else’s life. I want to stand in front of my mirror and tear off my flesh until i’m just a pile of blood and scraps on the floor. I want to take my fingernails and gouge out my own eyes Oedipus style so I no longer have to look at how pathetic I am. It’s like I don’t have any real friends. Everyone single soul is working against me. They all want to see me fail. For some reason I even believe my best friend has been getting easily annoyed with me lately. I feel like everyone talks about me behind my back. Every passing smile is just a sinister sneer in disguise.The most awful feeling in the world is waking up and being let down that you didn’t die last night. Ever since I was little I believed I was going to die young. I’m not going to live past thirty. I used to have nightmares about being attacked and slashed to bits, but I could never see the killer. I now realize that those dreams were just foreshadowing. I’m the one digging into my skin with blades. I’m destroying my self physically and mentally. I barely feel anything anymore, I’m a wonderful actress though. No one knows exactly how excruciating it is just to smile. I need to feel something, anything. The only way I can make sure that I’m truly still alive is to watch the crimson draining from my fresh wounds. I can’t help but hope my entire world is a phantasm and I will soon wake up in a dark room covered in a cold sweat.